Time to get serious.

Title says it all really, its time for me to get serious for a minute.  I realised over the last week that in the last 18 months I have made some of the most blundering bad decisions of my life, and that is saying something.  Some of the choices I have made have been financial and emotional suicide, and inevitably cost me dearly.  I do have to confess that I believe this to be what I now know as a symptom of my Bipolar Disorder.

As some people know, me and medication go together like chocolate and mud, in other words we dont! I have binned my meds more times than people have had hot dinners!

After much soul searching I have to be honest with myself in that I dont want to continue to live this way, I think I need a very big lifestyle shake up and more importantly I need to take this illness a lot more seriously than I have been doing.

It is not going to go away, I have to take medication, I have to help myself, I have to attend my medical appointments, I have to do the right things for my mind and body.  These are things I simply HAVE to do, not to make life easier but to survive.  Sadly, I havent been doing any of them.

I went to see my GP yesterday and he was amazingly helpful, and much to my surprise very understanding and considerate.  We have agreed on a plan forward and he has offered me some new medication, which I have agreed to take, these meds are rather cutting edge in that they are not 'usually' prescribed for Bipolar, but research in the US shows that they are having amazing results on Bipolar sufferers and it does seem to be emerging as a bit of a wonder treatment, I am feeling hopeful!

2010 has been the worst year of my life, professionally, emotionally, personally, financially.  If I dont get serious and take this illness seriously I dont know where I will end up, but I know it wont be pretty.  So I make my pledge to myself to do the right thing, I commit to the medication and the 'right' actions to help myself, as much as it loathes me, Bipolar and I are going to have to work together if this thing is going to work at all.