Thursday, 28 October 2010

Lifting the Veil.

Today I have been taking Lithium for 14 days.  Its been a strange old revelation for me really, and one which is very difficult to describe but I will try.  I was advised that Lithium would work in around 7 days, that was quite accurate, I began to feel differently in around 5 days, the best way I can describe this feeling is like a veil being lifted from my mind, I know that will sounds quite difficult to comprehend so I will try to further describe.  What I thought was, isnt.  What I thought wasnt, is.  I am finding *that* fact the most difficult to come to terms with right now.  In other words, Bipolar had killed reality for me, my sense of perception was warped and twisted and false.  I have spent many, many years in the Bipolar prison before I even knew what it was, and now because of the medication I am finding the truth, and sometimes the truth hurts.  I see more clearly the things I clung to for survival in depression: alcohol, bad relationships, sour family relationships, and it hurts to know how much precious time and energy I have wasted.

I am not really experiencing any side effects, the odd bit of nausea, my internal thermometer is a bit haywire but I can live with that, amazingly it is not the physical side effects that are bothering me, its this 'lifting of the veil'.

Maybe time will help me get things into persepctive and help me to find a true reality, for now I do feel hurt and a litte confused.

1 comment:

  1. I thing that is why counselling and medication go hand in hand.xx